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727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

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727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Jedi Joe on Sun Oct 05, 2008 6:58 pm

As the 44th Corps were ordered to do business on the junkyard planet of Metalorn, the 727th Legion was sent to investigate a droid factory, building droids for the Seperatists by the second. Jedi General SEPH GROUNDGLIDER found out that the droid factory was being supplied under the power of great crimelord Zorro the Hutt.

Seph decided to negotiate with the Hutt himself. He needed to give Zorro a warning, if he didn't heed it, there would be hell to pay for the notorious gangster...



Zorro: [Guards, bring me the messenger...]
Super Battle Droid: Roger Roger.

The SBDs bring in the messenger, a cloaked man with only one arm...

Zorro: [What brings you around these parts, human?]
Messenger: I see that you supply for the Seperatists...
Zorro: [Why do you care about such a thing?]
Messenger: Because I am for the Republic. My name is Seph Groundglider, and I am a Jedi General for the Clone Army!
Zorro: [HA HA HA HA! A Jedi? HA! The Jedi don't threaten me...]
Seph: I am sent here to give you a warning, if you don't listen, we will send a full scale assault on the palace AND the factory.

The SBDs propped up their arms, ready to shoot the Jedi.

Zorro: [Put your guns down, guards! Let him attack us, I'll adore watching him fail!]
Seph: You underestimate us, Zorro!
Zorro: [Take this peasant out of my sites, guards!]

The SBDs grabbed Seph by the arms and escorted him out of the palace.

Seph: *Brings out comlink* Blazer, this is General Groundglider, get the troops ready...

TO BE CONTINUED
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by DarthPineapple on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:00 pm

Zorro the Hutt... Laughing
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Zepher on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:01 pm

Perhaps more scenery and certianly more than just one picture next time, but it's a good start.
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Alpha on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:03 pm

I like the storyline! great job, and it's been added to the Main Page!

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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by -Aki- on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:07 pm

Nice! I like the bodyguard, and the scar on Zorro!
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Jedi Joe on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:12 pm

Alpha wrote:I like the storyline! great job, and it's been added to the Main Page!

Thanks! But I don't see it on the main page...

Aki-Kundu wrote:Nice! I like the bodyguard, and the scar on Zorro!

Thanks, Aki. The bodyguard I think will be in future stories, keep a look-out for him. And that isnt a scar, it's a tatoo. It's the symbol of Metalorn.

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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Astor on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:13 pm

Is the messenger anakin?
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Jedi Joe on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:14 pm

Astor wrote:Is the messenger anakin?

No. Read the story again. He is Seph Groundglider, the General of the 727th legion.
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Astor on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:16 pm

Jedi Joe wrote:
Astor wrote:Is the messenger anakin?

No. Read the story again. He is Seph Groundglider, the General of the 727th legion.

Oh. sorry about that. He had the same coulors.
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Jedi Joe on Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:40 pm

Anyone else notice the pipe I made for Zorro? XD
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Thunder-blade on Mon Oct 06, 2008 12:03 am

I really like Zorro the Hutt and his guard! I think the vig itself could use some greebles though....
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Clonecommando007 on Mon Oct 06, 2008 12:08 am

Nice work on Zorro and his guard, and the pipe! But I think you could've had multiple scenes....This doesn't really make that good of a topic with just one picture that isn't all that elaborate. Try to expand on it next time. Smile

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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by Delta04 on Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:00 pm

Blue Arc Nice work on the zorro's personal body gaurd,but you should have made this into a comic
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

Post by major reviss on Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:18 pm

It is a comic, Mission to Metalon is the title of it. But on a compleatly unrelated note, It was mighty short, and come on, one picture!
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Re: 727th Mission to Metalorn Part 1: Negotiations

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