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Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

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Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Bly on Sat Oct 11, 2008 1:22 am

By popular demand, my legion has left the Apaga cavern and is now in the nearby tourism city of Corasenta. This will be the penultimate Teyr MOC, after which, my legion will be fighting on Kothlis.

After retreating from the Apaga cavern, General Shao orders his troops to patrol the city streets of the apagian tourist city while he contacts the Jedi Council about his discovery. While there, the Confederate forces begin to invade. Captain Polus and his men are stationed around the outer parts of the Gair Entertainment District, the area around where the droid invasion begins.

Clone: We have nothing on radar
Polus: Is it possible they are jamming us?
Clone 2: Probably.

Polus: Well, keep a look out on the radar and Kuro and I will do some recon.
Kuro: OK sir.

Polus: We'll go towards the centre of the city. There's a large tower nearby that has a good view of the surrounding area.
Kuro: Good idea sir.
Whiirrrr.

Polus: Do you hear something?
Kuro: No, w-
BOOM!

Clone: ARGH!


Kuro: Uhhhh....
Polus: Are you OK sergeant?
Kuro: Fine I think. What about the others?

Polus: Both killed in the explosion. Here, we need to get to shelter. There'll be a patrol coming any moment.

*Whirrr....*
Kuro:Something is coming.

Polus: Shhh....


Polus: Alright, I think it's passed. We'd better get to the comms outpost to inform the general that the city is under attack.


Hope you liked this one better than the cave! I know that my city needs work, the next version should be a lot better. Please enjoy! Smile
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Alpha on Sat Oct 11, 2008 1:52 am

I like the plot, but the city could use a tad bit more greebles! But I enjoyed this more than your CAVREN SEENS! Laughing

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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Clonecommando007 on Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:03 am

I like this alot better than the cave MOC's. But text bubbles would be nice, and that missile picture was rather confusing. It looked like it was going backwards at the wall and just knocked down a bunch of blocks, not blowing up or anything. FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! BLOOD!

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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Bly on Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:12 am

Clonecommando007 wrote:I like this alot better than the cave MOC's. But text bubbles would be nice, and that missile picture was rather confusing. It looked like it was going backwards at the wall and just knocked down a bunch of blocks, not blowing up or anything. FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! BLOOD!

Sorry bout the missile picture. That one was an afterthought as it would look rather strange if a building just fell onto the clones. I'm still considering text bubbles but it's a definite possibility. And I agree that I need fire, blood and explosions (I don't really have stuff for any of them) .
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Thunder-blade on Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:25 am

commanderbly42 wrote:
Clonecommando007 wrote:I like this alot better than the cave MOC's. But text bubbles would be nice, and that missile picture was rather confusing. It looked like it was going backwards at the wall and just knocked down a bunch of blocks, not blowing up or anything. FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! BLOOD!

Sorry bout the missile picture. That one was an afterthought as it would look rather strange if a building just fell onto the clones. I'm still considering text bubbles but it's a definite possibility. And I agree that I need fire, blood and explosions (I don't really have stuff for any of them) .

You know Bly, there's always the GIMP and there's my tutorials to help you!

Anyway, I though that the comic was good, like you said the buildings need work.
Can't wait for the next part!
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Zepher on Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:25 am

Don't listen to them! Hasn't anyone ever heard of picture books? great job Bly!
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by DarthPineapple on Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:41 am

Bubbles is a must for a good story or comic.
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by thunder-clone on Wed Oct 15, 2008 8:17 pm

I like the story, but the city needs more work. Its too brown, yet again, i still like it. Whitey
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Jedi Joe on Wed Oct 15, 2008 8:26 pm

I like it. Very well done, and good story too!

A toast!
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Bly on Wed Oct 15, 2008 8:52 pm

Thanks! I've pulled my legion off Teyr now though - we're headed for Kothlis. But it's going to be a few weeks before that's ready.
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by CommanderMitten on Sat Apr 25, 2009 2:12 pm

I know I'm going to sound like a noob when I say this, but what are greebles? Embarassed Green
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Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City

Post by Clonecommando007 on Sat Apr 25, 2009 2:26 pm

CommanderMitten wrote:I know I'm going to sound like a noob when I say this, but what are greebles? Embarassed Green

Ok.

A. You've successfully managed to bump a topic a half a year old.

B. Not only is this bad, but if was for a question unrelated to the topic.

C. It's worse because we have a PINNED TOPIC in the New Members Area for questions like that!

Don't let me see you bump a topic again!

Thank you. Smile

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