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Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

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Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Mike on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:10 am

CIS Facility - Dantooine 1700 Hours



Shots ring out all through the corridors (Somewhat corridors...) as Squad 78 struggles to survive.
Creshk: Cover behind the rubble!
A shot rings out nearly hitting Rask's head.




Kin'ar: AUGGHHHHH!
Kin'ar screams as a SBD blast hits him in the heart.


Rask: ACK!
He screams as he is shot in the leg. (Gorefest!)


Creshk: Nothing but spare parts now...*Kicks droid body* Let's move...

'
Jarsh: Hold up a sec.
Mike: What are you doing with a desimador?
Jarsh: Just saving us a bit of energy...*Throws desimador over wall*\


Droid Commander: Uh-oh....
PSHWWWWWWW
Jarsh: Just saving us a bit of energy, eh?


Bacara: OK, we'll hold 'em off, when you get a chance Creshk, move out and try to disable the power core that the Generator is hooked to.
Creshk: Right then...


PZZT! PZZT!
Mike: Die clankers!


Creshk: So....how to disable this thing....Ehh screw it! *Shoots gun at it*


After the pandemonium passes they take a breather happy that no heavy casualties were made in this part of the battle.
Then, they hear a familier voice.


Rask: Did you guys start the party without me?!
Mike: You're alive? But how!?
Rask: I was only injured in my leg...Now let's finish what we started. Jarsh and Creshk, charge your guns at full power and aim at the main generator.


*Guns charging up*


KEEEERRRZAAAAMMM! The generator explodes, and the job is done...


Jarsh: Not much of an explosion....


Rask: Follow me...
The soldiers look at there lost brother mournfully.
Bacara: Rest in peace....

Note: Koron 1 does not interact with the new storyline I am making. Just pretend it never was made!

Post your comments and tell me what you think! Smile
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Darth Yoda on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:12 am

Wow, rask looks amazing... just Hola Wow! Shocked
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Mike on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:13 am

darth yoda wrote:Wow, rask looks amazing... just Hola Wow! Shocked
... Roll Eyes I know! I made him myself!... Surprised
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by ARC CloneTrooper141 on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:14 am

It looks pretty nice, but it's hard to tell whats going on in the pictures since alot of them are too bright or blurry, but don't worry, I have the same problem with my camera. Laughing
By the way, try to get as much of the moc as possible without showing us most of your carpet. Wink
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Darth Yoda on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:14 am

Uh... No, I gave it to you... duh..
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Clonecommando007 on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:15 am

I think the pictures need to be bigger, you should do away with the bad GIMPing, you need to put your camera in focus and turn your flash off, and you need to work on the MOC itself. I'd send this to the CABG Hospital - why don't you start a new topic there for it?
Good trying though, but the GIMPing definantly needs some work.

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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Mike on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:16 am

darth yoda wrote:Uh... No, I gave it to you... duh..
What's that you say? Now back on topic!

And Arc, yea whenever I zoom in it's blurry, but if I'm not in enough for some reason it comes out to bright.
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by 80-0 on Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:35 am

Mike888 wrote:
darth yoda wrote:Uh... No, I gave it to you... duh..
What's that you say? Now back on topic!

And Arc, yea whenever I zoom in it's blurry, but if I'm not in enough for some reason it comes out to bright.

What I like to do with my camera for close ups is turn on Macro, raise the flash(or turn on the flash, if applicable), pull away the camera, zoom in to the required distance, and take the picture. It eliminates any glare or unwanted brightness. Wink

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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Thunder-blade on Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:42 am

Not bad...
Some of the pics are out of focused and you should get closer so we can see what they are doing.
You needs some work on the effects though... keep trying!

The good parts are the clones and the building itself isn't so bad!
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by DarthPineapple on Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:01 am

It's okay, but you could work on the following:

- Better MOC
- Better and a little bigger pictures
- Text balloons
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by -Aki- on Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:12 am

The GIMPing is not very good, and same with the moc, but the clones are really cool!
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Sialboats on Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:09 am

The clones are very nice, I'll give you that Laughing .


But the dialog is lacking, the GIMP is aweful, the pictures are blurry, and the MOC could use a bit more work Waaa! .
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Mike on Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:06 pm

The MOC was small because I didn't have to many baseplates. The pictures were small because last time I did large size on photobucket they were to big...and the camera...I hardly know anything on the subject with it! Laughing Roll Eyes Embarassed
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Jedi Joe on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:54 pm

Good start Mike! I like it that you use small vigs like I do! Razz
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Re: Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by Sialboats on Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:57 pm

Mike888 wrote:The MOC was small because I didn't have to many baseplates.

I don't have ANY baseplates, and mine are pretty decent Wink . No excuse, bucko Razz .
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Re:Dantooine Facility - Operation 1 Anti Gravity Generator

Post by TK47 on Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:56 am

Not bad, not bad at all it's just that something just doesn't make it that exciting, seeing the background doesn't help nor the camera quality but it's not terribe Smile
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