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Discovery PI

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Discovery PI

Post by -Aki- on Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:31 pm

It is the year 2072. Humanity has visited most planets in the solar system. Then, in 2070, a new discovery was made: A asteroid, roughly the size of earth, has been caught in the sun's gravitational pull. All other asteroids have been "Deflecting" off it, as if it has a shield. The BSO space marines have been sent to find out about "new planet". Sargent Mike and Head of Space Exploration James have been sent for this task.


"So far, it seems the only life is plants."

"No aliens? Aw, crap."

"What are you doing? Have you found anything apart from plants?"

"No. I'm just taking a sample."

"What the hell. It's a bloody plant."

"Mike, this is the first planet earth has discovered that can support life. Who knows? One day, this could be the new earth!"

"Wait, you said it could support life."

"And your point is?"

"What about the atmosphere?"

"Hey, your right!"

"No problem!"

"Scanning, scanning, scanning..."

"...Oh my god."

"What is it?"

"The atmosphere is the same as earths: 78.8% Nitrogen, 20.95% Oxygen, 0.93% Argon, and 0.038% Carbon Dioxide."

"Then perhaps it could have aliens!"

"Lets go!"

"..."

"What are you waiting for?"

"What the hell is THAT?"

"I-I don't know!"

"Scan it then!"
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3073/3105049210_b0ecd73ea9.jpg
"Scanning it..."

"Well?"

"It isn't from earth, whatever it is."
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3062/3104219119_23ed1e79f5.jpg
"C'mon! We better take this to command!"

"You forgot your rifle."

"Do I give a s***? This is proof that life exists on this planet!"


So yeah, this will be part of a trilogy, where the BSO finds some new friends. And in the next installment, Mike and James run into one of them...
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by Thunder-blade on Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:42 pm

OOh! This is really interesting!!

The storyline is perfect! I am really drawn into this!

Can't wait for part 2!
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http://mocpages.com/home.php/15131

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Re: Discovery PI

Post by -Aki- on Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:48 pm

Trust me, part 2 will be awesome Smile.

Thanks!
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by Mike on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:01 pm

How is it the year 2072, then it says 2070?
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by Thunder-blade on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:02 pm

I think it should have said "earlier in 2070"....

Just helping with your English! Razz
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by flare on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:03 pm

Very excellent Aki I really enjoyed this Moc and story line! Smile
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by -Aki- on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:21 pm

Oh. I got mixed up. Sorry Embarassed.
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by ODST7 on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:24 pm

This is very interesting! I can't wait for the next chapter!
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by The Jinja Ninja on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:49 pm

"This is proof that life exists on this planet!"
Wouldn't all the plants be proof that life exists on the planet? Because plants are living, and all that...

Anyway, apart from your extremely basic biology-fail, this is pretty good by your standards. Better than a lot of your stuff, in fact (probably because a: I can see what's going on, and b: there aren't copious amounts of 'blood'), just work on the landscaping, as it's a little blocky at the moment. Also, I know it's an alien planet, but could you tone down the colours so that I don't want to rip my eyes out? Cheers.
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by -Aki- on Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:54 pm

The Jinja Ninja wrote:
"This is proof that life exists on this planet!"
Wouldn't all the plants be proof that life exists on the planet? Because plants are living, and all that...

Anyway, apart from your extremely basic biology-fail, this is pretty good by your standards. Better than a lot of your stuff, in fact (probably because a: I can see what's going on, and b: there aren't copious amounts of 'blood'), just work on the landscaping, as it's a little blocky at the moment. Also, I know it's an alien planet, but could you tone down the colours so that I don't want to rip my eyes out? Cheers.

Guess I failed with the plants. But who knows! The plants are alien, so perhaps they do not rely on carbon dioxide to survive.

Sorry about the blockly landscape, I don't have any yellow cheese. I also wanted to stay away from basic colours, and I wanted to take advantage of my large amount of yellow peices. I will take away all those plants and the orange next time Wink.
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by Jedi Joe on Sat Dec 13, 2008 7:10 pm

What's the weather like on the planet? Razz

Very nice story overall. Can't wait for the next one!
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Re: Discovery PI

Post by -Aki- on Sat Dec 13, 2008 7:28 pm

Jedi Joe wrote:What's the weather like on the planet? Razz

Very nice story overall. Can't wait for the next one!

I have just uploaded it to Flickr Wink.

Anyway, the next one is going to have much more action.
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