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541st Vendetta #3: Pharple Little

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Post by Sialboats Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:51 pm

The 541st Directory
Catch up on all the 541st Comics!

Okay, last bit of the exposition, and the next comic (which is actually almost done) will be up sometime next week, maybe even by the end of this weekend if I feel like it Smile ! Kudos to Zeph for inspiring me to improve his shake effect Wink . A little soft-glow goes a long way Razz .

(By the way, a Pharple is a Star Wars chicken/turkey...)

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Post by Alpha Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:01 pm

Very nice, the R5 unit was ingenius, but in a couple places, I think you forgot your speech bubble placing. Wink
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Post by Zepher Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:04 pm

Few things!

First off, the effects are awesome! The shaking was good, and the lights were well done!

Secondly, the enviroment of this planet is so plesently created, it's incredible! The warm feel of the tan and the lighting effects are fantastic! So good work!

Story wise ist was goo. I loved the talking civilains in the beginning, and the hanging for the red head (name?) and Trek is cool! I like the battle forming up.

The strongest choice you made so far, story-wise, in this arc is the sister. She creates a very interesting side. She first exposes Ied to the real world, and then give Turikai a family, which would be impossible with a Jedi, so your really using her well, as well as the fact that he's not a Jedi.

I also like the character amounts. Trek is a good intro'd character. Add that two the three generals, plus that space battle (can't remember the guys name) and you've finally got a good sized cast for me!
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Post by Fixer Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:05 pm

The natural lighting that you use is both a positive and a negative Sial.
It makes the comic seem more real, but then again, some of the pics don't look so great.

Overall, it's a great comic. With an interesting story, great Purist figs, and amazing FX.
But this one is definitely not one of your best, but that's just my opinion of course. (;

-Fix, who can't believe he's critiquing creations again; I've avoided if for far too long.
Or maybe, I was just waiting for the most opportune moment, hmm... XP
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Post by Alpha Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:19 pm

And is the red haired girl gonna stay with the 541st until Order 66?

But anyhow, like others said, the set is very nice, has some MOC feeling to it, rather than a carpet and a couple baseplates, which is why I'm MUCH more excited for Vendetta, and all of your next Comics to come. Wink

Though I'm hoping you'll continue an arc with McCulburt, or whatever his name was, because you can't just show him in 1 comic, then forget about him. Wink
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Post by Comrade Faie Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:50 pm

great job! I really like the crash scene, could we get a better look at that Commando though?
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Post by CT44 Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:06 pm

Nice comic, I really like the ODC. Smile
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Post by Sialboats Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:23 pm

I'm suprised that nobody has picked up on my Mod Election snippet.... Razz
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Post by DarthPineapple Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:25 pm

Where's the figting? The explosions? AAARGH! Razz

Still a nice comic.
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Post by 80-0 Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:30 pm

Mod snippet? Was it the poorly executed play on Zepher's name, St. Rephez? Razz
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Post by Sialboats Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:34 pm

80-0 wrote:Mod snippet? Was it the poorly executed play on Zepher's name, St. Rephez? Razz

Nope....

DarthPineapple wrote:Where's the figting? The explosions? AAARGH! Razz

Still a nice comic.

Coming next comic!

Well, the explosions aren't normal, because if you've ever seen a building be hit by something non-explosive, the blast isn't firey... Wink
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Post by Zepher Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:35 pm

Okay. His post gets a reply, but all the really long and indepth ones don't?

I find that funny though. nice catch 80-0. So close to a personal shout-out. So very very close.
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Post by Alpha Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:36 pm

Got it, Senator Jinja is doing well in the Election for MOD on CABG.

Not bad. Wink
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Post by Sialboats Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:38 pm

Zepher wrote:Okay. His post gets a reply, but all the really long and indepth ones don't?

Sorry... but I didn't see where I could reply to yours Waaa! .

Alpha wrote:Got it, Senator Jinja is doing well in the Election for MOD on CABG!

Not bad. Wink

Winnar Wink .
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Post by Comrade Faie Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:38 pm

Someone is voting for Jinja... secretly. Wink
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Post by 80-0 Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:39 pm

Ah! I just caught that! So now we apparently know where Sialboats' loyalties lie... Razz
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Post by Zepher Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:40 pm

Sialboats wrote:
Zepher wrote:Okay. His post gets a reply, but all the really long and indepth ones don't?

Sorry... but I didn't see where I could reply to yours Waaa! .

Alpha wrote:Got it, Senator Jinja is doing well in the Election for MOD on CABG!

Not bad. Wink

Winnar Wink .

I was teasing you. Wink

And nicely played Sials. Very nicely played. I was trying to figure out why the Senator had such a wierd name, and why you threw that in at all Wow this thing looks
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Post by Awesome-o-saurus Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:53 am

Well, all good battles have good build ups, excluding the battle of the Ionian Nebula in BSG... Just popped out of no where, and was awesome. Anyways, good work. Looking forward to the next one, maybe I'll go work on my own now...
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Post by Sialboats Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:40 pm

Zepher wrote:

And nicely played Sials. Very nicely played. I was trying to figure out why the Senator had such a wierd name, and why you threw that in at all Wow this thing looks

Why thank you Smile . I was hoping that the obtrusive nature of it would have clued someone in Wink .





Hmmm... I just noticed something. Note the absence of "DOODZ THATS AWESOMES". I think the noobs must hate me Shocked . Rarely do newer members reply in these comics Razz .
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Post by Zepher Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:17 pm

Where all the other comics are all "OZ! Mannnn! I likzd the prts when ther r clones bcuse they iz cul, right?"

I have two final compliments:

The name is fantastic in this one. I don't know if anyone else caught the play, but Chicken Little is about the sky falling, and in this one the assualt came from the sky. The title was super fantastic (and possibly one of my favorite parts of this comic, certainly the best title so far)


I don't remember my other one. So just assume that it's really well done....

EDIT: Ah! i remember now! The dust after the explosion with the light through it was really kick A**!
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Post by The Jinja Ninja Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:33 pm

Zepher wrote:The name is fantastic in this one. I don't know if anyone else caught the play...
Come on, Chris, how stupid do you think we are? It's a simple pun, and it would be weird if we didn't get it. Razz

Anyway... Yeah, good comic again, Sial. Not a lot in the way of 'new' - we knew the merc chick was going to attack Turaki, and loe and behold, the merc chick attacked Turaki. Try throwing in a plot twist here and there, or keep it fresh some other way. 'Cause as much as you want to call this 'plot development', all you've done is introduce a token female (Alexis) and a clone with a different name before things start explodng again. The History teaser was good, because it actually gave us new information and an interesting plot hook. However, it's gone a bit stale now, as we know everyone's motive and we know the next few strips will be clones and mercs blowing each other up. Perhaps you should have revealed the backstory gradually through flashbacks, like you did with Mira in Chronicles. It might have seemed a little repetitive for people who read the last series, but it would have kept some of the tension going throughout the series. Still, too late now. Maybe you could throw in a subplot with a minor character or two - perhaps have Turaki fighting while Ied does something interesting for a change? Or use the new clone as more than just another grunt who dies at the end and we feel sorry for. Do whatever you want, as long as it adds some flavour and depth to the story.

Oh, and thanks for the support. Wink
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Post by Jens Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:34 pm

Really great comic! I agree with all of the positive things that have been said.

Hot tip: Get a clean brush to get hair and or dust off your sets. Wink
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Post by Zepher Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:00 pm

I don't think your stupid.

The rest of them... Razz

Still waiting for your comment on my newest one Jinj.
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Post by Sialboats Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:21 pm

The Jinja Ninja wrote:
Zepher wrote:The name is fantastic in this one. I don't know if anyone else caught the play...
Come on, Chris, how stupid do you think we are? It's a simple pun, and it would be weird if we didn't get it. Razz

Anyway... Yeah, good comic again, Sial. Not a lot in the way of 'new' - we knew the merc chick was going to attack Turaki, and loe and behold, the merc chick attacked Turaki. Try throwing in a plot twist here and there, or keep it fresh some other way. 'Cause as much as you want to call this 'plot development', all you've done is introduce a token female (Alexis) and a clone with a different name before things start explodng again. The History teaser was good, because it actually gave us new information and an interesting plot hook. However, it's gone a bit stale now, as we know everyone's motive and we know the next few strips will be clones and mercs blowing each other up. Perhaps you should have revealed the backstory gradually through flashbacks, like you did with Mira in Chronicles. It might have seemed a little repetitive for people who read the last series, but it would have kept some of the tension going throughout the series. Still, too late now. Maybe you could throw in a subplot with a minor character or two - perhaps have Turaki fighting while Ied does something interesting for a change? Or use the new clone as more than just another grunt who dies at the end and we feel sorry for. Do whatever you want, as long as it adds some flavour and depth to the story.

Oh, and thanks for the support. Wink

I think you'll be somewhat pleased with the subsequent comic then, as I'm navagating away from the 541st and getting a different perspective. The thing is though, you're right, we know everyone's intention. Merc chick (I like that Laughing) wants Turaki dead, Ansion leveled, and the 541st toasted. This isn't 24, for example, where every two seconds the plot changes entirely, I'll concede you that. But, I do understand what yer asking for, and I'll do my best to introduce some changes to the plot and the intentions of the characters. Not to mention some completely unexpected moves every once and a while to keep the reader on their toes.

Thanks for the input! I like posts like these because they tell me what more I can do than trying to outshine everyone with GIMP Razz .
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Post by Zepher Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:24 pm

Exactly what I need in my comics! Woot for thread high jacking!

I agree with Jinja.

Also, what is the Red Head's name? She really really needs one.

Also... is this like my fourth or fith post on this one comic? Yes.
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