Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
+5
Zepher
Thunder-blade
Clonecommando007
Alpha
Bly
9 posters
Page 1 of 1
Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
By popular demand, my legion has left the Apaga cavern and is now in the nearby tourism city of Corasenta. This will be the penultimate Teyr MOC, after which, my legion will be fighting on Kothlis.
After retreating from the Apaga cavern, General Shao orders his troops to patrol the city streets of the apagian tourist city while he contacts the Jedi Council about his discovery. While there, the Confederate forces begin to invade. Captain Polus and his men are stationed around the outer parts of the Gair Entertainment District, the area around where the droid invasion begins.
Clone: We have nothing on radar
Polus: Is it possible they are jamming us?
Clone 2: Probably.
Polus: Well, keep a look out on the radar and Kuro and I will do some recon.
Kuro: OK sir.
Polus: We'll go towards the centre of the city. There's a large tower nearby that has a good view of the surrounding area.
Kuro: Good idea sir.
Whiirrrr.
Polus: Do you hear something?
Kuro: No, w-
BOOM!
Clone: ARGH!
Kuro: Uhhhh....
Polus: Are you OK sergeant?
Kuro: Fine I think. What about the others?
Polus: Both killed in the explosion. Here, we need to get to shelter. There'll be a patrol coming any moment.
*Whirrr....*
Kuro:Something is coming.
Polus: Shhh....
Polus: Alright, I think it's passed. We'd better get to the comms outpost to inform the general that the city is under attack.
Hope you liked this one better than the cave! I know that my city needs work, the next version should be a lot better. Please enjoy!
After retreating from the Apaga cavern, General Shao orders his troops to patrol the city streets of the apagian tourist city while he contacts the Jedi Council about his discovery. While there, the Confederate forces begin to invade. Captain Polus and his men are stationed around the outer parts of the Gair Entertainment District, the area around where the droid invasion begins.
Clone: We have nothing on radar
Polus: Is it possible they are jamming us?
Clone 2: Probably.
Polus: Well, keep a look out on the radar and Kuro and I will do some recon.
Kuro: OK sir.
Polus: We'll go towards the centre of the city. There's a large tower nearby that has a good view of the surrounding area.
Kuro: Good idea sir.
Whiirrrr.
Polus: Do you hear something?
Kuro: No, w-
BOOM!
Clone: ARGH!
Kuro: Uhhhh....
Polus: Are you OK sergeant?
Kuro: Fine I think. What about the others?
Polus: Both killed in the explosion. Here, we need to get to shelter. There'll be a patrol coming any moment.
*Whirrr....*
Kuro:Something is coming.
Polus: Shhh....
Polus: Alright, I think it's passed. We'd better get to the comms outpost to inform the general that the city is under attack.
Hope you liked this one better than the cave! I know that my city needs work, the next version should be a lot better. Please enjoy!
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
I like the plot, but the city could use a tad bit more greebles! But I enjoyed this more than your CAVREN SEENS!
Alpha- Non-Guild Member
- Age : 28
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
I like this alot better than the cave MOC's. But text bubbles would be nice, and that missile picture was rather confusing. It looked like it was going backwards at the wall and just knocked down a bunch of blocks, not blowing up or anything. FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! BLOOD!
Clonecommando007- Kinda like a UFO
- Location : Ohio
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
Clonecommando007 wrote:I like this alot better than the cave MOC's. But text bubbles would be nice, and that missile picture was rather confusing. It looked like it was going backwards at the wall and just knocked down a bunch of blocks, not blowing up or anything. FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! BLOOD!
Sorry bout the missile picture. That one was an afterthought as it would look rather strange if a building just fell onto the clones. I'm still considering text bubbles but it's a definite possibility. And I agree that I need fire, blood and explosions (I don't really have stuff for any of them) .
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
commanderbly42 wrote:Clonecommando007 wrote:I like this alot better than the cave MOC's. But text bubbles would be nice, and that missile picture was rather confusing. It looked like it was going backwards at the wall and just knocked down a bunch of blocks, not blowing up or anything. FIRE! EXPLOSIONS! BLOOD!
Sorry bout the missile picture. That one was an afterthought as it would look rather strange if a building just fell onto the clones. I'm still considering text bubbles but it's a definite possibility. And I agree that I need fire, blood and explosions (I don't really have stuff for any of them) .
You know Bly, there's always the GIMP and there's my tutorials to help you!
Anyway, I though that the comic was good, like you said the buildings need work.
Can't wait for the next part!
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
Don't listen to them! Hasn't anyone ever heard of picture books? great job Bly!
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
Bubbles is a must for a good story or comic.
DarthPineapple- VIP Former Staff
- Age : 29
Location : The Netherlands
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
I like the story, but the city needs more work. Its too brown, yet again, i still like it.
thunder-clone- Non-Guild Member
- Location : kalee
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
I like it. Very well done, and good story too!
Jedi Joe- Guild Member
- Location : Florida, the state of neverending heat and humidity...
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
Thanks! I've pulled my legion off Teyr now though - we're headed for Kothlis. But it's going to be a few weeks before that's ready.
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
I know I'm going to sound like a noob when I say this, but what are greebles?
CommanderMitten- Non-Guild Member
- Age : 29
Re: Teyr - Invasion of the Tourist City
CommanderMitten wrote:I know I'm going to sound like a noob when I say this, but what are greebles?
Ok.
A. You've successfully managed to bump a topic a half a year old.
B. Not only is this bad, but if was for a question unrelated to the topic.
C. It's worse because we have a PINNED TOPIC in the New Members Area for questions like that!
Don't let me see you bump a topic again!
Thank you.
Clonecommando007- Kinda like a UFO
- Location : Ohio
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