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251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

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251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 1:50 pm

As the Clone Wars rage, the army is spread thin, and clone troopers are sometimes scarce. Within the ranks of the 251st a clone trooper captain is picked to lead a daring mission.

In the Briefing room aboard the Nebuchadnezzar, a meeting between Captain Hyperion and General Camu Lorix and former CO, Clone Commander Ssekto is taking place.
















In the hangar aboard the Nebuchadnezzer, where Hyperion is debriefing his men







Aboard the gunship, 15 klicks from the destination.





















What happens now, you'll find out next time, in the 251st Saga...

So, this was my first attempt at comicing. I know there are a few small flaws in the comic, like misspelling roger, and that the speech bubbles are a bit too far to the right. This is because of Servimg, as I placed them in Paint, it was still fine. And I'm not going to use SFX, as in GIMP. I hope you like it! C&C, is, of course, welcome.


Last edited by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 3:07 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by DarthPineapple on Tue May 05, 2009 1:56 pm

Very nice! My only suggestion would be to digitally ad lasers. Smile


PhiMa wrote: Nebuchadnezzar

Lol, how did you thought of that name? Laughing
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by CT44 on Tue May 05, 2009 2:10 pm

DP said everything I was going to say... Razz

But, I like this one, just fix the SFX. Wink
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Alpha on Tue May 05, 2009 2:43 pm

No, not every comic needs SFX. Wink

You did a damned good job on this, though I suggest you work on your speech bubble placement, even though we can read it. Razz

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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 2:50 pm

Alpha wrote:No, not every comic needs SFX. Wink

You did a damned good job on this, though I suggest you work on your speech bubble placement, even though we can read it. Razz

Yeah, I had placed them so that you can read the whole freakin' thing in paint, but some how through servimg it flucked it up. And like Alpha said, not everyone needs SFX, I mean, look at CC's.
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Alpha on Tue May 05, 2009 2:52 pm

The only thing that bothered me was those green, yellow, and blue bricks that look off from the CIS base.

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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 2:56 pm

Alpha wrote:The only thing that bothered me was those green, yellow, and blue bricks that look off from the CIS base.

Ahem....its a warehouse turned into a CIS base, and of course, there's still leftover cargo. That's what it's supposed to be...
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Alpha on Tue May 05, 2009 3:00 pm

But you don't find cargo typically in red, green, or blue, wouldn't you say? Wink

What I'm saying, is that is resembles multicolored debris, and if you want cargo, use grey or black. Or brown, for that matter.

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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Gerrard on Tue May 05, 2009 3:05 pm

I would put some more effects and I am not a fan of the speech bubbles, but otherwise it is pretty good. Smile
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Jedi Joe on Tue May 05, 2009 3:42 pm

DarthPineapple wrote:
PhiMa wrote: Nebuchadnezzar

Lol, how did you thought of that name? Laughing

He got it from the Matrix, who got it from a Biblical king.

Good comic, Phima. I would add lasers and other SFX to the mix, but who cares about those! The story was awesome! Smile
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Felix42 on Tue May 05, 2009 4:18 pm

Great comic! The minifigs look awesome. Ten men to invade without the droids knowing. I get it. But, how did the clones end up from the gunship, to the platform? Did they jump? The story line is great. The MOCs in it is awesome. (Ie, meeting room, droid base, and gunship) Great job!
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 4:43 pm

@JJ: You're right, I did get it from the Matrix.

@Felix: They went down with the rapel cords. You see so in Panel 14. And yes, I'm quite proud of the Warehouse, I think that part will show up again sometime, now I need to get started on 'hallways' you could say on the inside.

Thank you for all the comments so far!
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Jedi Joe on Tue May 05, 2009 5:15 pm

PhiMa wrote:@JJ: You're right, I did get it from the Matrix.

Yea, I remember you saying that in another thread... Wink
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by torrent3 on Tue May 05, 2009 8:27 pm

Not even half af the pictures showed up, and a lot of didn't show up all the way. But from what I read, it was good.
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by pdragon27 on Tue May 05, 2009 8:35 pm

A couple things.

1st: DON'T WRITE KABOOM. Make it with the Gimp.

2nd: Work on your bubble placement, sometimes its hard to understand.

Other than that, its really good!
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 8:38 pm

Pdragon wrote:A couple things.

1st: DON'T WRITE KABOOM. Make it with the Gimp.

2nd: Work on your bubble placement, sometimes its hard to understand.

Other than that, its really good!

Yes....I'll admit that the KABOOM part is probably the crappiest bit in this comic....but I was in a bit of a rush. I'll take my time next time. And about the bubble placement, in Paint, they were fine, after I uploaded em with Servimg, it wasn't.

@Torrent3: Seems to me that they work for everyone else, but glad you like it.
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by pdragon27 on Tue May 05, 2009 8:40 pm

Use Gimp. Its free and waaayyy better than Paint. Plus, we have a whole thread on tutorials (if TB would organize it Razz).
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Zepher on Tue May 05, 2009 8:40 pm

I always experience the same thing Torrent. It just takes patience, after a minute they should all appear completely.

It was fairly good! I agree not all comics need GIMP, and I try to use it spareingly in mine. This was fairly well done. Action filled, still introing characters though. Over-all you entered the story quickly, but we know who the key players are, and we won't get lost. Good job!
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Sialboats on Tue May 05, 2009 8:58 pm

Okay, I know you're not using GIMP... but it's something of a standard for the genre Wink . Bubble postioning (pot call kettle black.. but I'm getting better, you just wait, Zeph - JUST WAIT!) is a little off. Most oftentimes our eyes go clockwise around the screen, and gravitate to the most recent comments at the top instead of the bottom. It makes sense after a thorough reading, but at the outset it seems iffy.

Plot... is kind've weak. OMG SUPERSPECIALSECRETMISSIONGUYSGOTTASAVEGALAXYDOOD! Leet group of soldiers thrust into a duty supposed to be for even more leet soldiers because leet soldiers too busy to do the leet mission.

Smells like leetness.

But, yes, other than that, you'll learn the rest over time. Slightly better postioning of characters, how to make dialog sound less stressed (and oh... did some of it sound fake), yada-yada Wink .
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Master Potato on Tue May 05, 2009 9:01 pm

Hola Wow! That's pretty awesome! A great comic for a first timer! As others have said though

Don't write kaboom.

Work on your bubble placement.

One hell of an awesome comic though Smile

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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by -Aki- on Tue May 05, 2009 9:02 pm

Sialboats wrote:

Plot... is kind've weak. OMG SUPERSPECIALSECRETMISSIONGUYSGOTTASAVEGALAXYDOOD!

That made me fall out of my chair Sial Laughing!

Anyway, this is pretty cool! I like the way this is a prequel. By the way, how come you can't see the captian's face Laughing?
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by PhiMa on Tue May 05, 2009 9:07 pm

@Aki: It's just a plain clone face, figured it was unimportant.

@Sial: I see what you mean. I'll try doing better next time with the bubble positioning. About the 'OMG SUPERSPECIALSECRETMISSIONGUYSGOTTASAVEGALAXYDOOD!'

1. It's not a superspecialsecretmission
2. They're not saving the galaxy, just getting important info from the CIS
3. They're not some kind of leet soldiers like you said, but plain clones. That's what I want to be different. Not to be some ZOMGUBERELITECOMMANDOTROOPERCAPTAINLCONE but to be plain and simple. And it'll thicken the plot over time. Just you wait.

What exactly did you mean with '(and oh... did some of it sound fake)'?


Last edited by PhiMa on Wed May 06, 2009 2:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by -Aki- on Tue May 05, 2009 9:08 pm

Oh. I thought you could have given him something fugely like Anakins, so you never see it like Master Chief.
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Code_Green on Tue May 05, 2009 9:16 pm

I loved the comic! I don't know what to say, because everyone has said practically everything, but I think this was a great comic for a first try.
I loved the control room conversation! Smile
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

Post by Dark Ranger on Tue May 05, 2009 11:37 pm

Not made, just make the laser effects digital. Oh, and when they first dropped, at least one trooper could have died.
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Re: 251st Legion #1: 'Into the Belly of the Beast'

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