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The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

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The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:19 pm

This is another with very little Gimping. I using this one and the first one to just build the story and show them getting to the ect. It is really short but the next one and the ones after that will be much longer and have much more Gimping in them..as soon as I get sail to give me the list of steps as to how to make lights glow.

Oh and sorry about the holograms I was having trouble with them so I opted to not add whitelines ect.

So here it is:



















Another small comic leading up to the main part which will start in The 82nd Legion Holo records: #3 The Contact.


I know it is small and no that well done but I am just getting started so keep that in mind. Also the next few comic will have flash backs.

C&C are very welcome.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by CloneCommandoXion on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:23 pm

I definetly look forward to the future comics because these are just so...I don't know...boring? But anyways your off to a good start Smile . Can you check out my 602nd jet trooper in the minifigs section?
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:24 pm

CloneCommandoXion wrote:I definetly look forward to the future comics because these are just so...I don't know...boring? But anyways your off to a good start Smile . Can you check out my 602nd jet trooper in the minifigs section?

I know they are kinda boring. I am working on making the future ones way less boring and more complex Gimpwise. I just need a little help with some stuff thats all...

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Alpha on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:33 pm

Okay, firstly, if you're going to say 'Gimp' or 'Gimping', then uninstall GIMP, remove it GIMP from your Favorites, and just forget about it. Razz

Secondly, you need to touch up your punctuation and spelling. Wink

Thirdly, it doesn't even sound like a military insertion, it says 'And since the planet is extremly cold you will be given a company of snow troopers to use as scouts', and 'Sir they just shot themselfs!! We now have no need to shoot them to get in!!'. It's just corny, y'know? Razz

Though it wasn't bad, I'm liking your troopers.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:35 pm

[AlphA] wrote:Okay, firstly, if you're going to say 'Gimp' or 'Gimping', then uninstall GIMP, remove it GIMP from your Favorites, and just forget about it. Razz

Secondly, you need to touch up your punctuation and spelling. Wink

Thirdly, it doesn't even sound like a military insertion, it says 'And since the planet is extremly cold you will be given a company of snow troopers to use as scouts', and 'Sir they just shot themselfs!! We now have no need to shoot them to get in!!'. It's just corny, y'know? Razz

Though it wasn't bad, I'm liking your troopers.

Yea I know. I need to work on the "talking" my clones are doing... I tend to think something sounds good but when I say it or in this case post it I then realize it sounds like crap.

Thanks for the advice though. I'll use it in the future.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by PhiMa on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:44 pm

Alright, Tips and hints again.

1. Writing can be very hard too read at times
2. Bubble placement needs to be a bit better. Sometimes slightly confusing.
3. You don't exactly understand the concept of Russian Roulette, do you?
4. Militia, if you please.

Story's starting to form out. But let's see some 'action'! Razz
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:47 pm

PhiMa wrote:Alright, Tips and hints again.

1. Writing can be very hard too read at times
2. Bubble placement needs to be a bit better. Sometimes slightly confusing.
3. You don't exactly understand the concept of Russian Roulette, do you?
4. Militia, if you please.

Story's starting to form out. But let's see some 'action'! Razz

1) Ok Im still working on the right size text.
2) I can see where you are coming from.
3) Yes I do. One bullet in the revolver and you spin it. And bet that the bullet isn't loaded into the barrel. A SW blaster doesn't work like that so it is kinda hard to live through it.
4) Opps my bad again. GIMP needs a spell check.


Some action will be in the next one PhiMa

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Jeremy012399 on Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:23 pm

Very very nice, by the way that soccer ball was a nice touch. Razz

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Sialboats on Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:24 pm

Now this is a new comic, with a fellow who's just started his comic-making career. As such, I'm going to nitpick - as those nitpicks directed at me in the beginning eventually mounted up and arrived at the point where they could no longer be dismissed, lest I magically became content with self-dissatisfaction Wink . That being said Razz :

If anything is to be fixed first: it's MILITIA Wink . Spelling mistakes sometimes are inevitable when you lack a proper checker - however - glaring errors such as the aforementioned are just plain aweful Razz . Your text is still too small, and it's poorly coordinated. Combine that with the fact that the the dialog is weak - so simple, in fact, you're able to swap bits of it around and not tell the difference in the conversation's structure - and you've got some really bad bubbles Wink.

I can get over the GIMP work: the bad holograms, the very small sparks, so forth. But what I can't ignore is the fact that your planet is a soccer ball, and a bunch of soldiers with the very essence of proper combat behaviors hardwired into their psyche (and literally, I might add) end up killing themselves in a game of chance. That's just a lack of effort, and some bad writing Razz . I'd much rather have seen a sphere with some splotches on it, and your clones neutralizing the enemies - even if it would mean bad GIMP. Never sacrifice believability for the prevention of introducing some bad GIMP into the mix.



I do still love your Clones' decals, however Smile .
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:42 pm

Sialboats wrote:Now this is a new comic, with a fellow who's just started his comic-making career. As such, I'm going to nitpick - as those nitpicks directed at me in the beginning eventually mounted up and arrived at the point where they could no longer be dismissed, lest I magically became content with self-dissatisfaction Wink . That being said Razz :

If anything is to be fixed first: it's MILITIA Wink . Spelling mistakes sometimes are inevitable when you lack a proper checker - however - glaring errors such as the aforementioned are just plain aweful Razz . Your text is still too small, and it's poorly coordinated. Combine that with the fact that the the dialog is weak - so simple, in fact, you're able to swap bits of it around and not tell the difference in the conversation's structure - and you've got some really bad bubbles Wink.
The text part I know. If you could tell me what size you use maybe that would help a little bit. I also know it is weak I am working on that and will try my best to improve it. I also know my bubbles are bad. But could you explain what exactly is bad about them please?


I can get over the GIMP work: the bad holograms, the very small sparks, so forth. But what I can't ignore is the fact that your planet is a soccer ball, and a bunch of soldiers with the very essence of proper combat behaviors hardwired into their psyche (and literally, I might add) end up killing themselves in a game of chance. That's just a lack of effort, and some bad writing Razz . I'd much rather have seen a sphere with some splotches on it, and your clones neutralizing the enemies - even if it would mean bad GIMP. Never sacrifice believability for the prevention of introducing some bad GIMP into the mix.

Thank you for getting over the bad GIMP work. I need a little help with how to add the lines to the hologram so thats why they are bad. I explained the use of a soccer ball by saying the areas in black where the areas with AA. I know the droids shooting themselves is dumb, but I found it funny at the time and didn't think it was dumb until I posted it. In the future I think I am going to use your sniper scope idea to make it better like you just suggested.



I do still love your Clones' decals, however Smile .

Thank you. I love them too.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by 80-0 on Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:47 pm

Yes, you made the common schoolboy error of going with pronunciation rather than dictionary accuracy (which is no embarrassing thing). You pronounce it muh-LI-SHA. And m-a makes more sense than m-i. It should be pronounced mih-LI-SHA. People have, by the by, accepted the muh-etc. as a suitable replacement for the accurate pronunciation, even though they, without realizing it, are leading to misspellings of such words.

Hopefully that shed some light on your spelling troubles Smile

As for the comic itself, I love the clones, and your sets are pretty good. Just work on the... Oh heck do what Sial said. Razz

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Sialboats on Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:49 pm

Darth Bizzle wrote:
Sialboats wrote:

If anything is to be fixed first: it's MILITIA Wink . Spelling mistakes sometimes are inevitable when you lack a proper checker - however - glaring errors such as the aforementioned are just plain aweful Razz . Your text is still too small, and it's poorly coordinated. Combine that with the fact that the the dialog is weak - so simple, in fact, you're able to swap bits of it around and not tell the difference in the conversation's structure - and you've got some really bad bubbles Wink.

The text part I know. If you could tell me what size you use maybe that would help a little bit. I also know it is weak I am working on that and will try my best to improve it. I also know my bubbles are bad. But could you explain what exactly is bad about them please?



No, it was a sequential statement. Combine weak dialog, with swappable text, and you get some really bad bubbles Razz .
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:56 pm

80-0 wrote:Yes, you made the common schoolboy error of going with pronunciation rather than dictionary accuracy (which is no embarrassing thing). You pronounce it muh-LI-SHA. And m-a makes more sense than m-i. It should be pronounced mih-LI-SHA. People have, by the by, accepted the muh-etc. as a suitable replacement for the accurate pronunciation, even though they, without realizing it, are leading to misspellings of such words.

Hopefully that shed some light on your spelling troubles Smile

As for the comic itself, I love the clones, and your sets are pretty good. Just work on the... Oh heck do what Sial said. Razz


Thank you for the grammar lesson 80-0. You make a awesome teacher.


I'll do what sial has said don't worry 80-0.


How is this for a bigger text. I made it 5 size' bigger:
Weak text but I am trying the size out and the lights.



I also made it easier to see who is talking and in what order. Oh and lookie at my lights.

Sial- Oh I see. That makes sense.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by 80-0 on Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:58 pm

Complicates, not complecates. Razz


Yes, I would make an... interesting teacher. Provided I am allowed the fullest extent of the useage of disciplinary actions towards my students. Otherwise, no way.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:00 pm

80-0 wrote:Complicates, not complecates. Razz


Yes, I would make an... interesting teacher. Provided I am allowed the fullest extent of the useage of disciplinary actions towards my students. Otherwise, no way.

Thank you once again. I hate spelling I suck at spelling... I'll type everything up in word first form now on. Hows the text size to you 80-0?

Haha belts and bats to beat them with eh?

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by 80-0 on Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:01 pm

A belt, yes, but a nightstick is preferable to a bat. Though that's rather heavy; they may not like the brainstains all over the place. Razz

I kid, NSA. >_> <_<

Yes, the new text size is fine.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:03 pm

80-0 wrote:A belt, yes, but a nightstick is preferable to a bat. Though that's rather heavy; they may not like the brainstains all over the place. Razz

I kid, NSA. >_> <_<

Yes, the new text size is fine.


Haha. I think a hockey stick up the arse would be the best thing for them.

Ok thanks. Font size #38 is the size I need.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by The Jinja Ninja on Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:17 pm

What the FRAK? (Yes, I am enjoying my new Battlestar Galactica DVD, thank you very much.)

Please, please tell me that the plot will be arriving soon. So far, you haven't done much besides have your guys walk around alternating between telling us stuff that we can see, and delivering WALLS OF TEXT that we would much rather see than read. For the love of all that you hold sacred, do something interesting! Now, I'm sensing that it's too much to hope for that you've given these characters any personailty at all, let alone distinct and individual ones, so I'll skip that part. From the looks of things, it's also a bit of a stretch to believe that you have an original plot besides "clones have objective, clones complete objective with WHEE I CAN DO GIMP," so I'll settle for having the characters, as I said, do something interesting. 'Something interesting' does not mean 'sit there while retards shoot themselves'.

Which leads me to my next point. The droids. I know they're incompetent in the Clone Wars cartoon, but that's because they're appealing to six-year-olds. None of us are six-year-olds (AFAIK, at least - I have my suspicions), so what the frak was up with the droids? Let's set the record straight here: These are robots. Military robots programmed to kill the enemy. Military robots, programmed to kill the enemy, who are completely unemotional and without personality (like the rest of the cast *RIMSHOT*). And they shot themselves playing Russian Roulette.

DOES NOT COMPUTE

Even if it was thrown in there for comedy (and failed), it's still a complete non-sequitur that makes no sense and is completely out of place even in this comic. What were you thinking when you wrote that?

Speaking of writing, I have in incrediclever way to solve your spelling and grammar problems: write a script in a word processor! If you can't get that right I really have low expectations for the rest of the series. Go ahead and prove me wrong.
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:31 pm

Jinja if you had read my previous posts you would have seen that I am introducing the plot in the next comic along with some personality for the commander. And I do have an original plot. And as I have said the first two are simply opening the door so to speak for more of the plot.


About the droids. I know that the attempt at humor failed. I'll try not to be like that in the future.

Also if you had read previous posts I told 80-0 I was going to type the text in Word before I do it in gimp... And I shall try to prove you wrong. I don't know if I will but I shall try.

Oh and have fun watching BSG!

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Green Tee on Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:27 pm

I think everything has been said about the comic. But could you ive the link or picture of the decal you used for the trooper right behind the commander in the last frame if you still have it?
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by moosacow on Wed Aug 26, 2009 5:09 pm

The General said a five man squad, not a six man. Shocked

The comic is interesting, as I'm excited to see more, only to be slightly disappointed about the length, or lack of action used in this series. I know you've promised more in the next one, but make it longer, too.
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Commander Cody15 on Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:37 pm

I really like your set up and your comics and troopers. I can't wait for more.
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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Bizzle on Sat Aug 29, 2009 7:46 pm

Ckill- Ok I'll link it to you in a PM later.


moosacow wrote:The General said a five man squad, not a six man. Shocked

The comic is interesting, as I'm excited to see more, only to be slightly disappointed about the length, or lack of action used in this series. I know you've promised more in the next one, but make it longer, too.

Yea five man squad if you don't include the commander.


CC15- Thanks.

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Re: The 82nd Holo Records: #2 The Landing

Post by Green Tee on Sat Aug 29, 2009 7:47 pm

Thanks a lot Darth Bizzle.

Ooo just barely 5 words.
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