541st Vendetta #18: Attachment

I really just wasn't satisfied by this comic. I thought it'd turn out better, but it didn't. It's really just filler, a story that I set the stage with, so I can act out the subsequent comic - which I'm hoping will be MUCH better. What's raised here - Ied's temper tantrum, the collateral damage, McCulbert hauling balls to Ansion, so forth - is going to be covered later.

A lot of this, too, is a testbed for GIMP techniques, storytelling techniques, and plot development devices for my third comic series. I'm trying to work out all the kinks here, see what does and does not work as well as I'd like it, so that I can give you a really good series once Vendetta's over .

Chronicles was all about how to build and GIMP. Vendetta's all about how to GIMP and story-tell. Ghosts will be all about how to story-tell and rock socks .

So, just enjoy - or tear me a new Arse. Either way, I don't think I can make a less self-satisfying comic than this.

Edit: And one with more typos... yikes!

The effects are cool. The fire looks real.

I agree. Fire is great, and the Story was quite good. How long is Vendetta supposed to be?

PhiMa wrote:I agree. Fire is great, and the Story was quite good. How long is Vendetta supposed to be?

Twenty-five installments, with maybe a Epilogue if I run over on that limit . After that, I'll be tinkering around with the principles of making a REAL comic, before I do the REAL comic-style Ghosts which will have maybe 10-15 really thorough, rather expansive, issues.

I preferred this one to... well, any recent comic I can remember. I reckon that says a lot about our differing attitudes towards what makes compelling material. Sure, there were a few points that could have done with some forshadowing, but the character development is just nice enough to overshadow that. Turaki becoming more like Akrah, Ied's frustration at his colonel (as well as, perhaps, some developing feelings for Alexis - c'mon, a whole panel devoted to a sigh is a rather ham-fisted hint ) and the continuing question of where Redhead Chick's (sorry, I forgot the name; use it more often) allegiances lie all create a more interesting story than POW POW WHIZZ ZAP SFX. Although, having said that, I was impressed with the burning building in panel 2. But yeah, make the characters continue down the paths they've been set on here, push them to their limits, then either save them or break them.

Just a little tidbit here (EDIT: In retrospect, this was a large tidbit. Get comfortable.), but I assume you're familiar with the general rule that conflict is the basic element needed for a story? In my opinion, much of the story so far has been lacking in conflict. Now, that sounds retarded, because it's a war story. But the end of the war is predetermined, and the droids and clones are doing what they're supposed to. Of course, the fate of the 501st and Equinox are up in the air, but the fact that we've all seen Episode 3 takes the wind out of the sails of your average 'Clones vs. Whatever' story (I'm not just talking to Sial there, folks). No, the really tasty conflict is that between individuals. Anyone can pound out a deluge of text about one bunch of people/machines/things conquering another - it's the bog standard bread 'n' butter of any history you care to mention. As a fiction writer, it's your task to zoom right into that action and go into detail about the tiny little people down there on the ground. Now, 541st has done this at times, with Turaki's wife, his nemesis, and now Merc Chick, but it's often been glazed over with grand battles in which anonymous grunts (even if they have a name, some of them might as well be anonymous grunts) make special effects explode across the panel. In this comic, most of the panel space is taken up with characters, and the grandest effect is a burning building, which in turn grants us a character moment for Equinox Guy. And it's good.

In short, more of this, please. For reference, you may want to binge on Firefly (the whole series is on Hulu, you have no excuse), which is a good example of sci-fi being used mostly as a backdrop for intriguing characters and situations. I'm not saying the wide angle, epic effects, mind-blower shots are bad - hell, a lot of the time they're plain awesome - but that they should be used in liason with character-driven stories, rather than being shoehorned in for their own sake.

So, you've finally gotten Ied and Turaki out of their comfort zones. Keep going in that direction until the tension reaches breaking point, then see what happens. Get it right and we could have your best stuff yet, regardless of how shiny it looks.

I called the Alexis and Ied love when she was first intro'd. Seriously, I was considering suggesting it to you, but you seem to have already thought it up.

I really enjoyed this one. Not much more to say. I love Equinox. They're a great force with a great story! I just wish I could do half the efects you can do.

The Jinja Ninja wrote:I preferred this one to... well, any recent comic I can remember.

Really? Maybe I'm finding that by doing something wrong by my own way, I did something right in a much better way .

I reckon that says a lot about our differing attitudes towards what makes compelling material.

Well, I do have to cater to other attitudes .

Sure, there were a few points that could have done with some forshadowing,

I've made a few attempts at forshadowing. It's rather hard in a comic like this, because it ends up being either REALLY subtle, or REALLY obvious. It still is something to work on, and something I hope to eventually gain a grasp of.

but the character development is just nice enough to overshadow that. Turaki becoming more like Akrah, Ied's frustration at his colonel (as well as, perhaps, some developing feelings for Alexis - c'mon, a whole panel devoted to a sigh is a rather ham-fisted hint )

Sometimes, it's requisite to the conveyance of the point. No third person narration through long, complex statements like you'd get in a novel, and no tone or body motion as you'd receive in a live-action production.

and the continuing question of where Redhead Chick's (sorry, I forgot the name; use it more often) allegiances lie all create a more interesting story than POW POW WHIZZ ZAP SFX.

I think so too, but if I'm going to keep interest, there has to be some of it generously distributed throughout.

Although, having said that, I was impressed with the burning building in panel 2. But yeah, make the characters continue down the paths they've been set on here, push them to their limits, then either save them or break them.



Just a little tidbit here (EDIT: In retrospect, this was a large tidbit. Get comfortable.), but I assume you're familiar with the general rule that conflict is the basic element needed for a story?

Yes. If I wasn't - well, I wouldn't be making what I make.

In my opinion, much of the story so far has been lacking in conflict. Now, that sounds retarded, because it's a war story. But the end of the war is predetermined, and the droids and clones are doing what they're supposed to. Of course, the fate of the 501st and Equinox are up in the air, but the fact that we've all seen Episode 3 takes the wind out of the sails of your average 'Clones vs. Whatever' story (I'm not just talking to Sial there, folks). No, the really tasty conflict is that between individuals. Anyone can pound out a deluge of text about one bunch of people/machines/things conquering another - it's the bog standard bread 'n' butter of any history you care to mention. As a fiction writer, it's your task to zoom right into that action and go into detail about the tiny little people down there on the ground. Now, 541st has done this at times, with Turaki's wife, his nemesis, and now Merc Chick, but it's often been glazed over with grand battles in which anonymous grunts (even if they have a name, some of them might as well be anonymous grunts) make special effects explode across the panel. In this comic, most of the panel space is taken up with characters, and the grandest effect is a burning building, which in turn grants us a character moment for Equinox Guy. And it's good.

See, that's what all the aforementioned characters have been attempts at. Character detail, personal conflict, and all those splendid items which make a story interesting. So far, I've lacked the boldness to start introducing it in force, but as of recent I felt that I've finally gotten characters to the point where they're ready for this kind of development. I've got ideas spinning around in my head, and I can't wait to start getting them out. I think the ending of Vendetta, and the beginning of my next series is going to be when this will become an integral part of the tale. Some of these issues will shed light on the personalities of smaller entities (Alexis, Ied, Turaki, the 541st, so forth), while other issues will cover how they all fit into larger organizations (Hanri, Rossetta Section, Akrah, Turaki, McCulbert; Equinox, The Republic).

But for now, I've made a decision to dig a little deeper, in hopes of turning up some of that moist, black dirt that defines a good work.

In short, more of this, please. For reference, you may want to binge on Firefly

I've been contemplating that as of recent, since I finished binging on BSG and Trek . It seems highly popular in the Flickr community, and the T/AFOL fanbase in general.

(the whole series is on Hulu, you have no excuse), which is a good example of sci-fi being used mostly as a backdrop for intriguing characters and situations. I'm not saying the wide angle, epic effects, mind-blower shots are bad - hell, a lot of the time they're plain awesome - but that they should be used in liason with character-driven stories, rather than being shoehorned in for their own sake.

So, you've finally gotten Ied and Turaki out of their comfort zones. Keep going in that direction until the tension reaches breaking point, then see what happens. Get it right and we could have your best stuff yet, regardless of how shiny it looks.

Have I ever informed you of my appreciation for this commentary? I don't quite know how you're able to be so thorough with a series so minor as this . I can't ever bring myself to be on other comics...

Zepher wrote:I called the Alexis and Ied love when she was first intro'd. Seriously, I was considering suggesting it to you, but you seem to have already thought it up.

I really enjoyed this one. Not much more to say. I love Equinox. They're a great force with a great story! I just wish I could do half the efects you can do.

I knew I wanted Ied to "get some"... but I knew that it would also be great to see how Turaki reacts when one of his closer friends and mentees starts hitting on his adopted sister. It also would be a chance to show Alexis's character, Trek's response, so forth .

I think Equinox was one of the best ideas I've had . As for the effects, it's just a matter of sitting down and trying various techniques until you've reached a point where you're content with it. And when you're no longer content with it, make a new one .

Gosh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Hopefully he went to sleep on the right one.
I'm still waiting for that B.A.N.T.H.A. Great as always Sial.

Personally I like the sort of texty comic over the "shoot his Arse and run" type of comics. The gimp work is amazing and the storyline has been going along quite well. Great work on this comic sial.

I haven't commented on this yet so I am doing so now.


First I want to say that the detail in each screen, thats what I am going to call each picture, is amazing. Like the one with the man crying out that he didn't want them to make a check point. That was probably one of the things that hit home the most as it could in many ways reflect real war and the deaths. I also like the GIMPing in this one, it is the best by far. I have read all of your comics as you have made them but I rarely commented on them. I can't wait to see how Ied's possibly "dating" Turaki's adopted sister works out. Will it add tension between the two? Will it bring them closer? Those are the things that hit home the personalities of each character and bring the story to a whole new level.


Also the way you present it is almost like a movie. I just feel like I am there, I know this is weird, as it is all happening and unfolding. I feel like the story is growing more and more with every screen and with every new comic. Keep it up and I think this will be a awesome second series and I think the third one will be even better,


Just my $0.2.

Bizzle, if you write it like that, you're basically saying: $0.20.