Metalorn Assault-Wasteland

Story: After landing on the garbage world of Metalorn, the 704th is tasked to destroy a CIS Cruiser. On their way, they find some enemy resistance. Will they be crushed under the immense amouts of Battle Droids?


Bam-bam-bam! Lasers flash from the two sides. Droids and clones fall in the blink of an eye. The assault on Metalorn isn't going as planned...


Tzz-tztzzt! Arth's lightsaber whirls around and deflects a bolt which hits a Battle Droid. "Eaaah!" it whines.


"We need a demo trooper now!" Viper calls. Arth does a backflip and avoids multiple bolts from several droids.


More reinforcements and a 704th Heavy Trooper rushes in and puts a rocket in the slot. Bam-bam! Pew-pa-pew-pew!


"Aim at the wall!" Viper commands. "Yessir" 654 replies. He then aims, and...


fires. The rocket flies in the air, hitting it's mark and sending debris and Battle Droid parts flying. "Agh!" some troopers in the front grunt as metal and rocks fly at them.


"Alright, let's move!" Viper orders. The 704th goes through the gap, where a massive CIS Cruiser awaits.

Okay, I know this sucks, because of the crowded area, the lighting, and the blurry pics, but whatever. Enjoy.

This is probably a retarded question, but how did you get the visor on the episode 3 clone?

I used a thumbtack and got it on. If you havn't seen Legorev's...

Has your camera got a flash? It might be advisable to use it, becasue it's rather dark...

The waste/rubble effect is good, but you need more greebles of varied sizes to make it more realistic. Looks good though, from what I can see...

Come on, use some more time to make a MOC, this is so simple! Adding text balloons would also be 100% better.

DarthPineapple wrote:Come on, use some more time to make a MOC, this is so simple! Adding text balloons would also be 100% better.

More bricks would be nice but it is still good.

As always, nice to see your storyline Alpha.

DarthPineapple wrote:Come on, use some more time to make a MOC, this is so simple! Adding text balloons would also be 100% better.

He makes small scenes so text balloons would just take up space.

Dp, there are thousands of ways of telling stories, please stop forceing your way on to people!

Zepher wrote:Dp, there are thousands of ways of telling stories, please stop forceing your way on to people!

Adding text balloons would also LOOK like it's a comic in which you actually spend SOME time making the MOC. I just hate the fact we get one of these 5-minute MOC's every day. Like it or not, but I HATE it!

When DP becomes an ADMIN his first rule will be no posting 5-minute MOCs!

Rook wrote:When DP becomes an ADMIN his first rule will be no posting 5-minute MOCs!

I really think it's great everyone post so much MOC's, but it's just, well, the quality could be little bit better.

I agree, but text balloons wouldn't make it any nicer.

Zepher wrote:I agree, but text balloons wouldn't make it any nicer.

Yeah, text baloons are like a gun. You can bull's eye the target of excellence, but you can also shoot yourself in the foot. An art form, getting them in there appropriately .

Nice job, but it does look crammed and 5 minute worthy.

Zepher wrote:I agree, but text balloons wouldn't make it any nicer.

They of course do, have you ever seen a comic without them?

This isn't a comic, this is a story.

Zepher wrote:This isn't a comic, this is a story.

That's all the same.

DarthPineapple wrote:

Zepher wrote:I agree, but text balloons wouldn't make it any nicer.

They of course do, have you ever seen a comic without them?

Yes. You never seen the old action/adventure comics with captions? They were laid out like a 'normal' comic, but the captions told the story in a couple of sentences per picture. Worked pretty well, actually, so I think we'd all appreciate it if you did some research before jumping on someone.

Oh, and a comic and a story are not the same thing. Ever heard of these big papery things with words in them? Books, I think they're called.