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The Jedi hunt (comic)

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Post by wrecks Fri May 01, 2009 3:51 am

Hello, this is my first comic and my first post as a guild member. My comic is during the clone wars, but not about clones, I hope I posted this in the right place. There are two parts of my comic that are complete so far, neither have any real action, they just tell you the story. Again, this is my first comic, so even if its not good, please comment and tell me what needs improvement (other than action, I know that).

part 1- http://www.flickr.com/photos/34532787@N07/3486852751/
part 2- http://www.flickr.com/photos/34532787@N07/3489655415/
part 3- http://www.flickr.com/photos/34532787@N07/3492751802/ -NEW-

Part three is up, hope fully you like it better than the first two. I think you will..

Okay incase you didnt get it, click through the photo stream to see the comic, it's not just one panel

Links were broken, but now they're fixed. Some words misspelled, but now edited. -Your friendly neighborhood mod Razz


Last edited by wrecks on Sat May 02, 2009 12:04 am; edited 2 times in total
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Post by Alpha Fri May 01, 2009 3:55 am

0.o

Firstly, it's 2 panes. TWO FREAKING PANES.

Is there any plot? Is there any action? No. It's not a comic. It's a baseplate with 2 figures and 3 Speech Bubbles. I hate to be harsh on you... but this is seriously a piece of crap. Sad

You get in the Guild and make something as disgraceful as this... why?!
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Post by wrecks Fri May 01, 2009 4:02 am

Shocked harsh

I know its short and no action its to get the story down, other wise you wouldnt know whats going on. the second one isn't very important but I built it so i might as well put it in. im not done the rest but I'll add them when I am. Rember this is my first comic, maybe I'm just not good at them but I'm trying Wink
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Post by Gerrard Fri May 01, 2009 1:09 pm

Bahh, sorry to say this wrecks but I don't like it at all. No action, no real story, just not good overall.
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Post by The Blue Shadow Virus Fri May 01, 2009 1:26 pm

Well i dont know, if anyone noticed that there are not only 2 frames.
If you click on he's photostream, there are more, just to let you guys know. Smile
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Post by 80-0 Fri May 01, 2009 1:42 pm

Alf and Gerrard, you both failed. And Gerrard, you got a double fail.

Fail 1 for Alpha: There is more than a mere baseplate to this. I personally like the design of that throne room, and there are indeed more pictures to this.

Fail 2 for Gerrard: Same thing.

Fail 3 for Gerrard: As usual, you copied everything Alpha wrote and tried to put it into your own words.



This isn't a bad comic; a little short and confusing at some points, and indeed a little odd(and the words could be a little larger Wink ), but it's well spaced. It's not a 40 pane comic book, but it's not crap.
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Post by Code_Green Fri May 01, 2009 2:47 pm

The plan on getting him excpelled was a little weak, but a good comic for a first try. Smile

EDIT:Many jedi have red lightsabers, so you should maybe have a little different tactic.


Last edited by Code_Green on Fri May 01, 2009 2:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by 80-0 Fri May 01, 2009 2:49 pm

Yeah, I actually don't think the Jedi would do something that rash. Surprised
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Post by Alpha Fri May 01, 2009 2:59 pm

80-0 wrote:Alf and Gerrard, you both failed. And Gerrard, you got a double fail.

Fail 1 for Alpha: There is more than a mere baseplate to this. I personally like the design of that throne room, and there are indeed more pictures to this.

Really? I'd much like to see them. And the baseplate meaning it's bland and boring like a baseplate, not many details besides the throne and the 2 side.

Fail 2 for Gerrard: Same thing.

Fail 3 for Gerrard: As usual, you copied everything Alpha wrote and tried to put it into your own words.



This isn't a bad comic; a little short and confusing at some points, and indeed a little odd(and the words could be a little larger Wink ), but it's well spaced. It's not a 40 pane comic book, but it's not crap.

A little short, eh?

I'd like that emphasized. Firstly, instead of having each comic be 3 panes long, combine 2 of the 3 comics he had.

However, no, we're just waiting for 3 panes each week/given amount of days, and it's not much to look forward to, even though the 3 panes show different things each time.
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Post by 80-0 Fri May 01, 2009 3:04 pm

It is emphasized: 'This isn't a 40 pane comic book'. Razz
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Post by Alpha Fri May 01, 2009 3:05 pm

It should be emphasized 'A story should be longer'. Wink

Now, back to wrecks, is there a date when you'll release this? Or are we waiting a week for 3 panes?
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Post by wrecks Fri May 01, 2009 3:59 pm

I'm only going to have 3 more after this then I'm done, this was basicly to see if I liked making comics. I think I'll stick to mocs Wink I'm done making number 3 and 4 and 3 has speach bubbles already in it. Oh, and for alpha and the other guys maybe you should read my post. (don't tell me I need action, I already know) the next three are defenitly better but probably wont be that good. I'm going to post them here, in the same thread. No bodys forcin yah to read thmem

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Post by Alpha Fri May 01, 2009 4:00 pm

No, I'll still read them, I just didn't know you had 2 more comics in your Flickr.
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Post by Gerrard Sat May 02, 2009 1:55 am

Whatever you say 80-0, I just thought the same thing Alpha did.

But the I didn't see the rest of it, it is ok but keep working on it. Smile
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Post by pdragon27 Sat May 02, 2009 2:03 am

By, god. Why the hell would you even try and call this a "comic"?

First, try actually posting the dang images. No one wants to have to keep loading pages to see the next frame.

Second, well, I don't have any other comments because of the whole number 1 thing. But, I'm gonna take Alf's word and say it sucks. Wink
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Post by Commander N09 Sat May 02, 2009 7:42 am

Gahh, I... Can't... Brea- See!

Wait, you're in the guild? Wow. Im gonna have to take Alfy's word. Better luck next time!
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Post by wrecks Sat May 02, 2009 4:58 pm

I admit I'm not good at comics, but there fun to make and I thought as long as I'm making them I might as well share them.
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Post by 80-0 Sat May 02, 2009 5:01 pm

If they're fun to make you might as well go the whole nine yards(five yards?) and finish the job instead of leaving it hanging as it is. The sets are pretty well designed but you just need to add some finishing touches to them, and then complete the story.
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Post by clonecommanderz84 Wed May 06, 2009 4:36 pm

What's up with the guys in Part 3?
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Post by 80-0 Wed May 06, 2009 4:39 pm

Guys? How dare you. There are ladies present. Mad
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