Episode 10: The Battle of Nekt: Evac

Season 1
Episode 10
The Battle of Nekt: Evac

Catch-up:
After a fierce battle on Ingration, Versilles was contacted by the Jedi Boom and Lofsurra, who had been tasked with evacing the planet Nekt. While Gruff told Versilles to not go, he went anyways.











































Hope you enjoyed! I tried to make the Flash Back more obvious this time! As for those of you who complain that it doesn't make sense, I'm done with you. Not all answers are here right now, but they will be. Give me time. If your smart enough, it will all piece together.

-Zepher

The flashback was nice, although I have no idea what Brason has to do with Nekt, and it would help to make the flashbacks a bit more obvious. EDIT: Just read your post again, nvm.

Work a bit on the characters themselves, for Jedi don't have jumpsuits (Most Jedi don't), and Jedi sure as hell don't wear police outfits. And why is there a Kel-Dor wearing a regular suit of Clone armour?

But it was good... finally no more bright colors.

Zyonsis wrote:The flashback was nice, although I have no idea what Brason has to do with Nekt, and it would help to make the flashbacks a bit more obvious. EDIT: Just read your post again, nvm.

Work a bit on the characters themselves, for Jedi don't have jumpsuits (Most Jedi don't), and Jedi sure as hell don't wear police outfits. And why is there a Kel-Dor wearing a regular suit of Clone armour?

But it was good... finally no more bright colors.

The Flash Backs are triggered by something said or done by someone else. When VErsilles was captured, he flashed back to being captured. When he was giving chase, he thought about giving chase. Now Boom is seen talking to this girl whose scared of leaving her planet, something he had to do when he was young

Again, the police outfit will be explained. I think in the Nekt arc, actually...

What's a Kel-Dor? Plo Koon's spiecies? He's wearing a Stromtrooper outfit so that he's not from the artic

Pretty well done special effects and Sarge died!!!! NO!!!!

But I understood it and as Alpha said above, I would work on changing some of the outfits. Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Pretty cool. The appearance of a few new characters was pretty cool.

My only nitpick is that when it was Boom's flashback, he had some facial hair .

Not bad, not bad, I have to admit. The flashback was simple to understand, but I couldn't quite see who Boom was at first.

Things that you should maybe work on, is that the one clone had an extremely long gun, and the one thing I really don't like is that the jedi has a police officer torso.

But this sounds interesting.

Yeah, it was alright. At the very least, I'm glad to catch the start of the story arc this time. I guess the plot was good, although nothing too memorable. My biggest issues were that the dialogue wasn't great, and the flashback could have been more obvious. With the dialogue, try to make it less stilted - at the moment, it's very much like it's being written, not spoken (I know it is being written, but you know what I mean). People have quirks and tics and use odd phrases that make them individual. Right now, all the lines could have been spoken by the same character, and we wouldn't know the difference. Try making it less formal, and give each person their own way of speaking. Nothing too major, though, 'cause that'd just get annoying. As for teh flashback, try playing with the contrast and brightness levels a bit to make the images look different. Making them both higher might be the sort of thing you're looking for, but just fiddle about with the meters until it's right.

Oh yeah, and get rid of the police torso and find some black hair. That's driving me crazy.

Okay, the conversation wasn't half bad, you're really laying it on thick which is nice ; but I think you need to find a balance between action and words.

The kid on the one civil war battlefield could have been handled better. He'd be screaming, crying, and kicking as blaster rounds cracked and wizzed; and the soldiers would be tersley giving orders to the civillians as they fought the enemy. The fire effect was WAY overdone on the gunship, but it seems to be easy enough to follow so far!



And Jinja... was that way of speaking a jab at me ?

Sialboats wrote:And Jinja... was that way of speaking a jab at me?

Not intentionally, but Ied's voice is what I'd call 'taking it to far'. Have you ever actually confirmed what it's meant to be? Right now I'd bet on either southern USA or Scottish.

Also, here are some results of screwing around in Photoshop with brightness, contrast and a yellow wash:

The Jinja Ninja wrote:

Sialboats wrote:And Jinja... was that way of speaking a jab at me?

Not intentionally, but Ied's voice is what I'd call 'taking it to far'. Have you ever actually confirmed what it's meant to be? Right now I'd bet on either southern USA or Scottish.

Also, here are some results of screwing around in Photoshop with brightness, contrast and a yellow wash:

[Snip]

He's a Scot . A minor Non-Player Character in Star Wars Galaxies was part of a crime syndicate located in the northern hemisphere of Corellia, and these food-substance-named gangsters had something of a scottish accent. So, I thought'd this would fit pretty darn nicely on a Alpha-Batch Clone Commander who flash learned not just his lessons, but picked up the accent of one of his guest instructors .


And Zeph, you do know that you could do pretty much the same lighting effect in GIMP? I'm not sure if Jnija's adding a time of day, or a flash-back overlay. Right now, it looks like he made it morning more than a past event. I'd add some glow, brightness, and a opacity-high grey layer for past events, so it looks a little bit more surreal, and not something that happened just as the sun came up .

I don't want the flash backs washed out, so I'm going for a bright flash of light before hand, and afterwards. Hopefully it will work. I have to work on making the lfashes brighter though. As for the talking, that's always a problem I have while I write these, or creative work. I try to get different ways of talking, and sometimes they're too small. I'll build of the ones I already have.